If you want to experience unconditional love don´t ever settle for anybody that doesn't accept you for who you are. That was my filosophy when it came to love. But was I only doing the talk and not walking the walk?
Before, I could not see myself being in a sexual relationship with a man with no "real penis". I wanted a masculine heterosexual man with a real penis. And at the same time I was expecting to find somebody that loved me unconditionally for who I am: a transsexual woman without a "real vagina."
Well, I have a functional neo-vagina, trans guys don´t have a functional penis. That was my unconscious way of justifying that loving unconditionally didn´t apply to me. I unconsciously felt that I fitted into the heteronorm better than trans guys, because of my sexually functional vagina.
But was I just being shallow thinking that only a man with a penis was good enough for me? Or was I being purely transphobic and heteronormativite in my thinking? Was I not thinking outside of the box? No I was not! I was expecting unconditional love but I was not ready to practice it myself on a transsexual guy. Where was my empathic heart? I mean, if somebody could put themselves in a transgender person situation it should have been me, no? Was I being a hypocrite?
It kind of hit me how much I was trying to live up to the heteronormativity, when what I really should have been doing was questioning it. True love is unconditional and I realised that I was in a position where I was expecting unconditional love instead of giving unconditional love.
This couple really inspires me! Two trans parents have biological children with each other. She decides in last minute that she is going to keep her penis and become a parent! She found true unconditional love that probably was what she needed to make the decision of not doing the sex change surgery.
So my question is: if more transsexuals felt unconditionally loved in their natural born body, would less transsexuals undergo the sex change operation? Just a thought.
Have a great Saturday! please like if you like :)
Big kiss Vanessa